Mi peque tiene un ataque de ira otra vez ¿Qué hago?

Aprender a sobrellevar las crisis emocionales a través del cerebro

En este artículo abordaremos el tema de las emociones, por ejemplo, la ira en nuestros pequeños. Cada experiencia de aprendizaje que un niño desarrolle, incluye las emociones. La función que tiene el cerebro en estos procesos emocionales es extraordinaria, debido a esto, haremos un esbozo a grandes rasgos de cómo funciona el cerebro de un niño.

Para poder sobrellevar momentos de tensión con nuestros hijos, es imprescindible saber, cómo funciona nuestro cerebro y el de ellos:

🙂 Cerebro primitivo “cerebro de reptil” Es reactivo, defensivo, impulsivo, utiliza el ataque como herramienta de supervivencia. Es responsable de las funciones vitales como respirar, sensaciones de hambre, frío.

🙂 Cerebro medio “cerebro mamífero” Incluye el sistema límbico. Aquí se definen y procesan todas las emociones. Miedo, frustración, alegrías intensas, rabia, celos. Es un cerebro que se alimenta de experiencias y gana control cuando el cerebro superior interviene.

🙂 Cerebro superior “neocórtex» Ubicado en la corteza prefrontal medial. Es sofisticado, receptivo, lógico, flexible. Hace uso del autoconocimiento como herramienta de supervivencia, es capaz de tomar decisiones, regula las emociones, ayuda a crear lazos de empatía y conexiones cerebrales optimas para afrontar dificultades en el futuro.

En los niños, el cerebro superior es el último en desarrollarse. Como consecuencia, en situaciones de conflicto emocional, el cerebro de reptil y el cerebro medio que incorpora el sistema límbico están enteramente vinculados.

Cuando un niño ante una situación determinada se comporta con actitudes violentas, gritos, o un llanto exagerado se debe a que las reacciones reactivas, defensivas, son las primeras en aparecer. A la edad de 3 años el cerebro superior empieza su proceso de crecimiento y desarrollo, a la edad de los 25 años aproximadamente este cerebro alcanza su madurez.

Depende de nosotros como padres o formadores determinar, qué tan calmados nos podemos comportar en todas esas situaciones irritantes que se presenten en nuestro día a día. Acorde con la toma de decisiones lógicas, podremos encarar enfrentamientos directos con nuestros peques, conservando la calma y aprovechando nuestro cerebro superior para actuar con raciocinio.

Expertos en la materia, el médico psiquiatra Daniel J. Siegel especialista  en neurociencia & pedagogía, y la reconocida psicoterapeuta Tina Payne Bryson. Ambos han sacado a la luz un libro especialmente recomendado llamado: “Disciplina sin Lagrimas” El libro nos enseña ejemplos claros sobre situaciones reales y se puede utilizar como un manual práctico y didáctico para orientarnos a desarrollar un cerebro pleno en nuestros peques.

Para ser más exactos pensemos entonces que existen dos cerebros que definen al niño:

Un cerebro inferior que incluye todo el sistema límbico y el cerebro primitivo. Este cerebro activa el lado más primitivo, emocional e impulsivo del peque.

Un cerebro superior que activa el lado receptivo del niño, es un cerebro que está en continuo desarrollo para regular las emociones de forma lógica y racional.

A veces nos cuesta abordar el comportamiento de nuestros pequeños cuando se desata una explosión de ira, de frustración, miedo, llanto, o berrinches. ¿Qué hacemos en esas situaciones? ¿Cómo nos comportamos? ¿Cómo podemos aproximarnos a nuestro hijo sin miedo a cometer errores? Es muy importante destacar que como padres o formadores cometemos desaciertos y es totalmente normal. Muchas veces hemos actuado de forma rígida, distante o indiferente. Es verdad, claro que sí, y es que no somos perfectos. Lo más importante es darnos cuenta de eso, ser consientes, poder disculparnos, asumir nuestras equivocaciones con nosotros mismos y con nuestros niños.

Con esto queremos explicarles, es mucho mejor cuando nos dirigimos y abordamos el cerebro superior de nuestros niños en lugar de enfadar al cerebro inferior; esto puede ser comparable con el comportamiento de algún felino percibiendo peligro. El niño se pondrá a la defensiva en posición de ataque y sólo conseguiremos más furia e irritación.

Existen procedimientos que son sencillamente reprochables y hablamos de la violencia física o la violencia psíquica basada en continuas recriminaciones, castigos, desapego, miedo y humillación.

Estos métodos de violencia no serán nunca la mejor opción para ayudarlos a salir de algún espiral tóxico como, por ejemplo, algún ataque de ira. Es importante comunicarnos con ellos, brindarles contacto físico (un abrazo, un beso) Transmitirles calma y establecer una relación de respeto con ellos.

Daniel Siegel y Tina Payne exponen que en situaciones donde las emociones se salen de control, la parte inferior del cerebro es mucho más dominante, no es un buen momento para enseñar o disciplinar al niño; más, sin embargo, podemos conectar con él, ayudarlo a reconocer sus emociones negativas y cuando el niño esté sosegado poder redirigir y analizar la experiencia para convertirla en un aprendizaje.

¿Concretamente qué podemos hacer?

🙂 En primer lugar, debemos ponernos en contacto con el niño, actuar de manera empática. Ofrecer consuelo. Eso significa CONECTAR con él, en lo posible, establecer un contacto físico y llegar a un nivel profundo de entendimiento que lo ayude a encontrar la calma, procurar que no se haga daño, que no le haga daño a nadie o a nada. Brindarle nuestra compañía hasta que los niveles de cortisol, la bien llamada hormona del estrés, baje.

🙂 Establecer LIMITES y ser consecuentes. No podemos dejar que la explosión de ira convierta toda la habitación de un niño de 4 años en una zona de guerra y todos los juguetes salgan volando por la ventana. Es importante restringir acciones indebidas. Por ejemplo, en los más pequeñitos, haciendo uso del contacto físico, receptivo y calmado, en el caso de niños con edades más avanzadas, establecer reglas y limites claros expresados con respeto y cortesía.

🙂 Cuando el niño vuelva a un estado de calma y de recepción, no podemos dejar la experiencia vivida metida en el baúl de los recuerdos. Debemos REDIRIGIR, el niño deberá estar en posición de atención para poder entender la lección que queremos hacerle comprender. 

Una conexión emocional sana entre los padres y los niños que implique la calma, puede alimentar en nuestros peques un proceso de aprendizaje basado en experiencias que, a lo largo, dejarán huellas positivas y reflexivas. En uno de nuestros artículos hablamos de la crianza con calma y no muy lejos de ese principio deberíamos utilizar y desarrollar nuestra habilidad empática, en el momento de abordar cualquier situación de conflicto con nuestros niños.

Lo más agradable en este proceso de crianza es que existen alternativas reales a nuestro alcance. Es posible llegar a nuestros hijos y disciplinarlos, enseñarlos. Podemos sobrellevar juntos ataques de ira y situaciones emocionales desagradables. Pues bien, nuestro cerebro es como un auto, lo que puede ser bastante complejo, el cerebro de un niño se desarrolla paso a paso, avancemos con ellos en este hermoso proceso y mucho ánimo.

Hoy compartimos:

Disciplina sin lágrimas. Una guía impresindible para orientar y alimentar el desarrollo mental de tu hijo. Daniel J. Siegel y Tina Payne Bryson. (Español)

El cerebro del niño explicado a los padres. Cómo ayudar a tu hijo a desarrollar su potencial intelectual y emocional. Dr. Álvaro Bilbao. (Español)

Disziplin ohne Drama: Achtsame Kommunikation mit Kinder. Von Daniel J. Siegel und Tina Payne Bryson. (Deutsch)

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    این دست من بود که روی بالت
    دست کشید ولی دل توام دست کشید کبوتر
    نارنجی من چه راحت پرکشید چه راحت پرکشید یه روز سرد دیدمت تنهاتر از من
    خسته از این مردم بی رحم با دیدنت سر
    پا شد این تن … تا زخمتو بستم دیدم یهو خالیه دستم
    حالم خوب نمیشه اصلا خدا به همرات
    نارنجی من … شکستی دلمو بگو دیگه چی میخوای از این ولم کن یه
    جوری خوردم زمین خدا بیا جمعم کن خدا بیا جمعم کن بردی حواسمو همیشه حواسم بود کجاست حواس تو من زخمتو خوب کردم که ببینم پروازتو ببینم پروازتو ولی چشات هیچوقت ندید این دست من بود که روی بالت دست کشید ولی دل توام دست
    کشید کبوتر نارنجی من چه راحت پرکشید چه راحت
    پرکشید

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